Casino Quotes Funny

1. Funny Casino Quotes
2. Gambling Quotes Funny
3. Gambling Sayings Slogans
4. The Movie Casino Quotes
5. Casino Quotes Funny Sayings

Discover and share Funny Casino Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love.

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Last night I got thrown out of a casino… apparently I completely misunderstood the crap table.

In Vegas they’ll bet on anything. One casino was ready to let me bet on whether I’d win or lose there.

I’m going to the casino tonight. I hope I break even. I need the money.

I had nothing to do, so just for a laugh I went to the casino. In three hours I’d laughed away my car.

What is the difference between a poker player and a dog? In about ten years the dog quits whining.

What’s the difference between prayer in church and prayer in a casino? In a casino, you really mean it!

Why didn’t the elephant like to play cards in the jungle? Because there were too many cheetahs (ok that was lame).

The wife of a doctor called the casino to get her husband paged. They refused. The house doesn’t make doctor calls.

Funny Casino Quotes

Quotations about Gambling

Gambling Quotes Funny

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Gambling Sayings Slogans

Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. ~From the movie The Color of Money
If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. ~VP Pappy
For most men (till by losing rendered sager)
Will back their own opinions by a wager.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, 'Beppo'
A pack of cards is the devil's prayer-book. ~German Proverb
Gaming is the son of avarice and the father of despair. ~French proverb
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. ~Wilson Mizner
The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future. ~Franz Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam, 1975
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. ~Hugh E. Keough
In a bet there is a fool and a thief. ~Proverb
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ~Gloria Steinem
The typical gambler might not really understand the probabilistic nuances of the wheel or the dice, but such things seem a bit more tractable than, say, trying to raise a child in this lunatic society of ours. ~Arthur S. Reber, The New Gambler's Bible
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner. ~Thomas Robert Dewar
The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. ~Heywood Broun
If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. ~Chinese Proverb
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
A permanent and intense interest is acquirable in baccarat, or in any other game, but you have to buy it. You don't get it by standing around and looking on.. Constantly money and chips are flung upon the table, and the game seems to consist in the croupier's reaching for these things with a flexible sculling oar, and raking them home. It appeared to be a rational enough game for him, and if I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.. ~Mark Twain, 'Aix, the Paradise of the Rheumatics'
In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here,' but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out.' ~Jeffrey Bernard
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. ~William Bolitho
I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely. ~Joe E. Lewis
In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. ~Author Unknown
Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1823
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. ~R.E. Shay
If you would read a mans Disposition, see him Game, you will then learn more of him in one hour, than in seven Years Conversation.. ~Richard Lingard, A Letter of Advice To A Young Gentleman Leaving the University, Concerning his Behaviour and Conversation in the World, 1670
The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. ~Nick Dandalos
Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money. ~Author Unknown
A race track is a place where windows clean people. ~Danny Thomas
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety and nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuggles into your heart in the same way. ~Mark Twain (at Bayreuth)
Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face. ~VP Pappy
Luck never gives; it only lends. ~Swedish Proverb
By gaming we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham
At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons. ~Chinese Proverb
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ~Author Unknown
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers
No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him. ~Bud Flanagan
Horse racing is animated roulette. ~Roger Kahn
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. ~Henny Youngman
One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds. ~Dan Bennett
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. ~Author Unknown
The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publilius Syrus
A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1832
There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away. ~Author Unknown
Games of chance are traps to catch school boy novies and gaping country squires, who begin with a guinea and end with a mortgage. ~Author Unknown
Betting is the manure to which the enormous crop of horse-races and racehorse breeding in this and other countries is to a large extent due. ~Richard Blackmore, The Jockey Club and its Founders, 1891
Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people. ~W.C. Fields
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. ~Ambrose Bierce

The Movie Casino Quotes

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Last saved 2020 Aug 30 Sun 19:27 PDT

Casino Quotes Funny Sayings